She Was Beautiful
She was beautiful.
Every curve of her body screamed, "Look at me!" My first
glance convinced me that I should look just a little longer.
The longer I looked the more desirable she appeared.
thoughts that flashed through my mind caused me to feel guilty, so I forced myself
to look away. But then I realized that soon she might be
out of sight; I might not get to see her again. I managed
another quick glance. Yes, she was even more alluring than
I had at first realized. Despite my best efforts, my eyes
kept reveling in what they were seeing. I wondered what it
would be like to...
Such scenarios as this were repeated many times
over the years until, eventually, they became second nature to me. Images of
scantily clothed women seized my attention often, and to my dismay, caused my
to churn with desires that I didn't want anyone to know about.
Was I abnormal? No. Nearly all men experienced
the overpowering urge to enjoy the enticing arousal that attractive women can
produce. Men enjoy these secret thoughts about women, and the more they enjoy
such thoughts the more addicted to them they become. What few men realize is
that every time they become sexually stimulated, a change takes place within
them. Each occasion creates a desire for yet more stimulation. Eventually the
body and mind crave ever-increasing stimulation. This change, however, takes
place so subtly that most men don't realize what is happening.
Of course, some men feel no guilt when immoral
thoughts flow through their minds; still they would not want their secret thoughts
to be revealed.
Repeatedly I prayed,
"Oh God, please don't ever let me think such
thoughts again!" And I was sure I wouldn't -
and I didn't - until the next time my eyes beheld
an especially beautiful woman. How deliciously enticing
she was! Mmm...Then, once again, I determined to think
only good thoughts. But after a while...So many good
reasons for me to excuse myself.
After every failure
I prayed for forgiveness, but I wondered if I would
ever find a way to not desire what I, in fact, did
desire. I began to fear that I would never achieve
such a challenging goal. Was there some evil force
within me that was forcing me to think immoral thoughts?
Or was I just a normal man suffering what is a natural
part of man's carnal nature? Why, I asked, are men
forced to wage such a never ending battle? Why did
God permit us to sink into such a dark abyss? Why
didn't He make it easier for us to look in the mirror
and see a person who is not ashamed of his secret
And why did I feel guilty when I read: "Why do
you call me, 'Lord, Lord,' and do not do what I say?" (Lu. 6:46).
I knew I was sincerely trying to obey
I knew I was being disobedient. Second Peter 2:14 (TLB) was written for me: "No
woman can escape their sinful stare." This painful dilemma continued for years
- even after I became a pastor. I know that other pastors face this same distressing
When I became ensnared in evil desires, such as
enjoying images that have the deliberate purpose of creating immoral thoughts
in us, I did not see myself as an active participant in evil. If anything, I
saw those persons who created the images as being the evil ones and myself as
merely a passive observer. But evil has the power to corrupt anyone who willingly
enjoys it, and Jesus told us to beware of anything that provokes evil desires.
It took me many years to acknowledge to myself
that my own thoughts were like a bacteria that spreads its influence over everything
it touches. Immoral movies, pictures, books and magazines have the power to spread
their dominion over anyone who invites their presence. Jesus knew this to be
true, and gave us adequate warning. I knew the words He spoke, but I didn't understand
them. Or, maybe I didn't want to understand them.
Then, one day, God mercifully
revealed truths I should have known all those years.
Every man who reads the things God revealed to me,
will be given the key to be set free from Satan's
cleverly devised trap. Every woman, too, needs to
know the things that men so desperately need to know.
The following pages will expose the ambush that Satan
has laid for us.
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